Sunday, June 27, 2010

Mirror, mirror, on the wall

This is from last week, but I finally got around to finishing it. It was such an amazing experience I figured I'd post it!

Just got in from playing with Xena. I'll be licking and chewing over today for quiiiite a while!

I know Parelli says horses are our mirrors, I never quite understood the multitude of how much that meant until now. Exposition: I guess I've been a touch "difficult" to be around the past few days, stressing over random things, and taking it out on my friends, trying to not care and just keep moving forward with the horses. There was somewhat of an issue with one of my friends... it probably can be described as a B**** fight, but at least on my end, more a LBE fight where I was participating for the sport of winning (LOL! Only teenage girls capable of that?)and not really caring about the outcome. Ended up friend was still pretty mad at me by the end of it. What I'd usually do with that is forget it and go jump on Mesa to gallop around bridleless for a bit. That isn't happening, so I try to use the cool part of the morning to accomplish another saddle lesson with Xena. You know, calm and therapuetic like. HAH!

So I take her to the round pen, she seems calm enough that I don't need to let her jump around before playing. So I try to move her around before thinking about the saddle, probably the only savvy idea I had all day!!!!! I have my head in the clouds, a headstrong attitude, and am still humming Pink's I wanna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight. Funny how horses pick up on things. I go left, Xena goes right. I say stand still, she moved. I say cross the pole, she says karate kick the pole. Although I constantly conciously know that everything this horse does is an affect of something I do, I am wondering why she's trying so hard to be bad. She was "spooking" at invisible objects. I could literally see her jumping around pretending to freak out, but staying surprisingly left brain, almost LBE on adrennaline. Not normal for her at all. I try to focus her random bursts of energy, but she runs to the end of the line and blows herself up, then stands there calmly with a funny cheeky look on her face. I said outloud to her "It's almost like you're trying to start a figh---OHHH!!!!"

I stood there for a minute, shocked at my new revelation, staring at my horse who was staring right through me. She was mirroring me! She had the same dominant moody playfulness that I was experiencing, and it was equally abnormal for both of us RBIs. Everything started suddenly making sense.... like why sometimes this one very playful Arabian I used to ride would constantly engage in bucking fits with me, no matter the tack I used, and she didn't do it for anyone else. She'd pin her ears and crowhop each time I asked her to do something, but her expression was otherwise playful, not right brain or angry. And why when my friend first discovered that her dad got a new girlfriend and was steaming, the normally calm school horse she rode reared, spun, and tried to dump her. And why some days little arthritic Mesa would leap in the air at her own shadow, and leave me flying that kite all over the trails. Awesome!!!!

So I unhaltered Xena, and went in to the barn to go chill with the kitties and figure things out. It was funny because I wasn't angry at myself or the friend, but I had to get rid of the "bring it on" energy I was toting. It was getting hot, so I probably shoulda cooled off in the house, but I stayed in the barn and pondered the situation. Heat makes everyone lazy. Once I had come to a place of being much more calm about everything, wanting only to have a nice quiet session with my introvert, not a big dusty fight, I went back over to the round corral.

I must have been quite obviously thinking about how I didn't want to do much moving around in the heat... because I couldn't get her to move!!! AT ALL!!! She was solid as a rock and I felt like I had to keep waking her up to talk to her. Mind you, this is maybe 15 minutes after she was running around like a mad woman. I laughed at this and grabbed some carrots and did a little walking stick-to-me. Perfectly in tune with me, whaddyaknow.
Even if we don't always get the horse we expect, we always get the horse we need, huh! I'm sure once Xena's taught me the proper path to emotional control, my friends will thank her.

Till then, I probably oughtta meditate every day before playing with her LOL!

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